Excerpted from "Sex in the Romance: A Review of Romantic Encounters of the Close Kind".

(copyright John L. Ferri 1994, jlferri@epix.net)


Eyes are said to be the portals to the soul. Lips, then, are the corridor to the mind. They react to its thoughts with a smile (perhaps), express its bidding with words of love (maybe), and show its intentions with a kiss (hopefully).

Kissing is the first physical expression of serious attraction between two people. They may hold hands, or they may dance closely, but the relationship can't progress until they kiss. I don't mean a quick peck or a brief glancing kiss, but a full-body-contact type where each is embracing the other, where breathing becomes difficult, and where the heart rate becomes erratic.

The kiss is highly underrated. It says many things that are difficult to put into words. Think back to the first passionate kiss you shared with someone that you truly cared about and perhaps still care about. Close your eyes and imagine the circumstances. It may have been at a dance, in a car, at your apartment, or at her home. Was it an accident? Did you just happen to end up in an opportune position? Was it deliberate? Planned?

How it happened is insignificant to the fact that it happened. Your lips moved to hers. She didn't move away but turned slightly to face you more directly. Her eyes may have closed but her lips parted ever so slightly. Maybe she made the initial advance and you didn't move away. However it happened, your lips touched for the first time. Your arms were around her. You slowly pulled her closer. She responded and your bodies pressed tightly together. This was very likely the first time that you have been this close together.

Kissing is an art and a highly individual and personal expression of affection and love. Some just press their lips together and move slightly. Others make love to their partner's mouth by nibbling and teasing and taking pleasure from the soft caresses of their lips and tongues. And to think that this is only the beginning.

I remember (and I'll never forget), the first time I kissed my wife. It was our first date and we were at a drive-in. When the kiss ended, I actually said "Wow". As dumb as it seems, that word uncontrollably jumped from my mouth. I haven't said it since, but every time we kiss I still have the urge to say it.

The favorite kisses of the authors were "devastating", "hungry", and "pervasive" followed by "deep", "hard", "intoxicating", "lingering", "slow", and "soft".

More "kissing" phrases are:

  • absorbing her drugging nectar
  • absorbing her essence into his very cells
  • bittersweet fervor
  • captured her lips again
  • captured her mouth with hungry urgency
  • deeply
  • delicious
  • delirious
  • devastating
  • engulfing
  • erotic
  • explicit come-and-get-me
  • exploratory
  • feathery
  • feeding from the sweetness of her mouth
  • fiercely
  • gentle
  • hard
  • hungry
  • intoxicating
  • lingering
  • long, drugging kiss
  • mindlessly
  • passionately
  • pervasive
  • probing
  • provocatively
  • quick
  • reclaimed her mouth
  • richer than Godiva chocolate
  • savagely
  • searching
  • sensually
  • slowly
  • so intense
  • softly
  • thorough
  • twisting
  • voracious invitation.


Lips make kissing possible. The tongue makes it interesting. The lip/tongue combination, along with a developed brain, also gives humans the ability to verbally express their feelings and thoughts and emotions to others. We have the ability to communicate. We have the ability, but do we really communicate?

When a male is attracted to a female, he must somehow let her know that he's interested in her. He has to ask her for a date. This brings sweat to the brows of the mighty male because he is afraid of - no, not women - rejection. Traditionally, men have had the job of being the aggressor in the male/female bonding arena. We do the selecting (or we like to think that we do). We do the asking. But the women make the final decision. They either accept our offer or reject it. It's their choice. Some may think that this is unfair and, on special occasions, have put the burden of asking on the women.

Women, who don't have the problem of direct rejection, must face indirect rejection. They have to wait for the offers. If they are interested in someone and that someone never asks them for a date, then they have been indirectly rejected. This is not as traumatic as the direct rejection but can lead to severe frustration.

With the above situation not likely to change dramatically anytime soon, how do attracted pairs ever get together? The answer is through indirect communication. The female doesn't wait for us to ask. She may make subtle hints, make not-so-subtle hints, or use friends to prompt someone special to ask for a date. With essentially no chance of rejection, the male springs into action, and we have a date.

Without any hints or prompting from the female, the male may make subtle inquiries, directly or indirectly, about her likely answer to the proposal for a date. If he feels that he will get a favorable response, he asks.

This may not be the most efficient method of communication, but it is certainly very effective. It shows the strategy of the dating game -- man chases woman until she catches him. It also shows the dual purpose of the lips and tongue. They're used to get a date so they can be used during the date.

The list below contains words and phrases describing lips:

  • beautiful swollen
  • full and throbbing
  • parted pulsing with the inflow of warm, sensual blood
  • sipped them
  • suckled them
  • soft and pink
  • trembling, swollen
  • two swollen, ripe plums
  • captured them
  • suckled them
  • wet.


The tongue plays a very active part in any relationship. With your tongue you can "stroke her mouth to ecstasy" or "slide it between her parted lips." Both parties have tongues and can use them concurrently. (For people from other planets, this is known as French kissing.) In fact, if tongue use is not mutual, the probability is very high that the proceedings will end unfavorably. Also, when using my scoring system, the tongue is the only organ that can score points in four categories: KS, BR, BJ, and MD. The categories are explained in the chapter on scoring.

Other tongue words and phrases are:
  • circled
  • danced and curled
  • dancing with hers
  • darting repeatedly inside her mouth
  • his tongue found hers
  • made sweeping, swirling motions inside her mouth
  • mated
  • moist
  • moist sweep
  • plundered
  • plunged
  • questing
  • reclaimed her mouth
  • searching sweep
  • seductive
  • seeking
  • silky touch
  • slide moistly
  • sliding between her parted lips
  • slipped between her lips
  • stroking her mouth to ecstasy
  • sweet invasion
  • swept inside her
  • tangling
  • thrusting
  • twined
  • warm.

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