My Conversation with God
(Printed in the Towanda Daily Review on March 7, 1997.)

I've often wondered about prayer -- about how it is supposed to change the intentions of an omniscient, omnipotent deity. I've been told that multitudes continue to pray for me so that I might see the truth -- specifically that I might believe what they believe.

So in all fairness, I decided to try it again realizing that positive results are not guaranteed. My prayer record is nil for the last decade, infrequent the previous decade, and sparse the decade and a half before that. However, I do remember quite a bit of praying during six years of Catholic education. I also remembered that a prayer can simply be a conversation with God, and didn't have to be a request for a favor.

I selected a quiet locked room, closed my eyes, and started, "God, are you there?" No answer. So I repeated, "God, are you there?"

"Yes John, I am here in the room with you."

I opened my eyes and there before me, in plain view, was a rather normal looking, yet quite dignified individual of approximately sixty. "My appearance depends on your perception." Then He said, "I will answer your questions."

My first, after regaining my composure was, "Did you create the universe?"

"Yes, several hundred of them. After each Creation, I interfere no more. The first six-hundred were lifeless, the next sixty-five were refinements, one final act being the current."

I then asked, "Why is there evil?"

"I create beginnings. The rest is up to you."

Next, "Did you write or inspire the Bible?"

"Except for Matthew 6:5,8 it is the work of opportunistic priests and men preying on the vulnerability of a gullible population. The universe is my testament, not something so frail and changeable as a book."

I couldn't think of another important question, so I asked, "What did Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson ask you?"


I replied, "Never mind," then continued, "What about prayer?"

"Prayer is between the person praying and me. Public exhibitions of prayer are ignored by me. It is supposed to be a private, personal expression of faith, not a ridiculous public spectacle."

I commented, "You do realize that no one is going to believe that this happened."

"Of course I do -- I'm God. Tell them that extraordinary claims require extraordinary faith. Here's my e-mail address; contact me any time."

I thanked Him. He smiled, and then vanished after saying, "Beam me up, Peter."

Did the above account actually happen, or was I hallucinating, or dreaming? Lying? All I can say is that I am as truthful as all the others who have claimed similar divine contact or knowledge. My conversation with God is as factual as every other claim of Heavenly encounter. I swear to God.

John L. Ferri

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"Amazing Grace" arranged by and
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