Fantasy World Series Party Dialogue

Unlike, for example, some individuals who enjoy wine or classical music but admittedly "don't know much about it," sports fans generally seem to carry an attitude of confident expertise. That's why it would be unlikely to see a conversation like this:

MIKE: This is really exciting! Now, remind me . . . which one is the pitcher?
GAIL: I think he's the one in the black suit.
JOSE: No, that's the tallstop. He's responsible for hitting the homers, isn't he?
MIKE: Yeah. [He cracks open a Bud Light.] Hey, which one is Reggie Jackson?
GAIL: Who gives a crap. It's hard enough following the game without keeping track of their freakin' names.

Or:

MARIA: So, how do you think the Sox are going to do in the Series?
DAN: How do I think they're going to do? What do you mean? Why would I have an opinion on something like that? I'm not a professional sports analyst. You know that. I just like to watch a good game on TV a couple of times a week. I'm amazed that you'd think I would be qualified to predict how a particular team might perform in a particular contest. It would be presumptuous of me to even try.


Back to Table of Contents

© 2003-2005 Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.