TERRY:  If you're just joining us, my guest is Larry Dawson, author of 
        the new book, Yes, This Slim, Mediocre Novel is 
	Actually $22.95.  Larry, I've read your novel, and I also 
	read the cover blurb, and I couldn't help noticing a 
	marked similarity between your protagonist, Barry 
	Lawson, and yourself.  I'm wondering, did you set out to 
	write a novel that was actually a thinly-veiled 
	autobiography?

LARRY:  Hah hah, it's really funny that you should say that, 
	Terry, because in actuality Barry and I are nothing alike.  
	Just for starters, he's at least 1 1/2 inches taller than I 
	am.  Also, whereas I was born in Toronto and then moved 
	at age 7 to Syracuse, he, by contrast, was born in Ottawa 
	and then moved at age 8 to Buffalo.  So you can see why it 
	really knocked me out when you came up with the goofy 
	idea that he was supposed to resemble me.

TERRY:  Well, I -- uh -- still can't help drawing several 
	parallels.  For example, in the book, Barry -- who 
	incidentally is a journalist, just as you are a novelist --

LARRY:  Exactly, Terry, there you are again.  I write fiction 
	-- like my new book.  Barry writes nonfiction.

TERRY:  Yes, although as the story opens, Barry has taken a 
	six-month sabbatical to work on a novel.  I thought you 
	said he wrote nonfiction?

LARRY [PEEVISHLY] :  Well, journalists can take time off to 
	write novels.  I'm not aware of any law against it.  But 
	anyway, when a journalist writes a novel, it's different 
	from a novelist writing a novel.

TERRY:  But not as different, say, as if he weren't a writer at 
	all,  or  had  never  lived in  Canada  and moved to  upstate 
        New York as a child, or for that matter if the narrator 
	didn't constantly describe him as wearing "the clothes 
	the author is wearing in the dust jacket photo."

LARRY:  Look, if you're expecting me to be some kind of 
	fantasy writer, you've got the wrong guy.  I mean, I don't 
	write far-fetched yarns about people not being writers 
	and not being born in Canada -- I leave that to the sci-fi 
	crowd.  I write from what's real.

TERRY [AFTER 5 SECONDS OF DEAD AIR] :  Well, getting back 
	to the scene where Barry won't accept the fact that his 
	television doesn't know when he wants it to change 
	channels . . . . I'm wondering if you ever had that -- uh -- 
	problem in your own life.

LARRY [HEATEDLY] :  Well, why should he accept that?  
	Barry is a writer , not some kind of soulless technician!  
	It's easy enough for people to go up to someone sensitive 
	like Barry and insist that he change the channel himself 
	-- hell, we all have things we'd like to change in our 
	lives if we could -- but if he could do that, I wouldn't be 
	the person that he is!

TERRY:  You know, it's funny, Larry, but talking to you now 
	reminds me of a scene in your book where Barry is 
	describing his book to his agent.  If I could just read from 
	your book for a moment:
	    "Well, Barry," said the agent, "Your protagonist, Harry,
	    seems essentially to be a self-portrait."
	    "It's really weird that you should get that impression,"
	    Barry responded.

LARRY:  So what are you saying?

TERRY:  Well, perhaps you could describe to our listeners 
	how you came to write that scene?

LARRY:  Certainly, Terry.  I was just sitting down at the 
	word processor when I realized I'd forgotten to brush my 
        teeth.  So I turned off the computer and went into the 
	bathroom, which is two -- no, three doors down the hall 
	from my study, on the left.  I unscrewed the toothpaste 
	cap and put a little on my toothbrush.  Then I brushed 
	the front surfaces of my top teeth and -- this is 
	interesting -- you know how you're supposed to use 
	up-and-down strokes?

TERRY:  Uh-huh.

LARRY:  Well, that's how I did it.  Then I brushed the back 
	surfaces and the chewing surfaces, and then I did the 
	same for the bottom teeth.  Then I rinsed my mouth and 
	screwed the toothpaste cap back on.  So anyway, some of 
	your listeners may be aware of how some bathrooms 
	have light switches on pull-chains and others have wall 
	switches.  Well, mine has  a wall switch.  So I went to the 
	wall switch and switched the light off, and then I went 
	back to the computer and wrote that scene you just read.

TERRY:  We're going to take a short break.