I will never forget the day that I met Bonzai Bonnie. No I am quite sure that will be a day that I take to my grave. I saw her there across the the room, an emotional wreck, mascara straming down her face her eyes puffy and red from tears shed of a life too hard. Now this beautiful lady on her best day is no model, but I saw her in her tattered threads and leather jacket sporting a hand picked tattoo and my heart was robbed from my chest.
Of course I being the dashing and ever virile "Prez" of a small but notorius band of motorcycle hoodlums was far more accustomed to dealing out a punch in the nose than whispering words of love. I could send a man to death but could not ask a woman such as this for a date. Looking around I turned to my trusted Lieutenent Push Rod and said "Hey Push that one have an old man?"
Push Rod looks around and says "Bonzai Bonnie? Nah I don't think so but what you want that one for?"
I tell him to never mind all that and go tell her "The Ratman requests the pleasure of your company on a motorcycle ride next Tuesday evening"
The Rod replies "Oh no any union of Ratman and Bonzai would surely be struck on the anvils of hell" I told him to shut up and do what he was told unless he really felt like going out on a date with a tube of Simichrome and my bike. So the message was carried like some kind of leather clad Miles Standish. And the ride was set up.
The next week rolls around and brings together the entire entourage of misfits. A thundering coulmn of Harleys a quarter mile long all so the "Prez" could go out on his first date. We went to the renouned emporium of caffiene and sugar Mr. Doughnut. And I as always was busy making a total jerk of myself being way too loud and way too obnoxious for the event (You can do that when you have a dozen or so tatooed, bearded bikers at your command.) One of the minion of lower rank told me I was scarring this girl. I pulled my self up to my full heith and barked "Shut up can't you see I am trying to IMPRESS this girl?"
Of all the lines ever spoken none was ever spake so true. She looked at me in that moment as she still does to this day. A mixture of awe and love and a whole lot of "This guy is totally nuts!" In the telling and re-telling of this story it may grow more grand with the years but it was that one line that stole that beautiful ladies heart from her. A few simple words spoken in deep passion and none ever more honest. Without regard to dignity or pride, a foolish bunch of school boy antics, just to impress one lady, mine and forever.
I love you Bonnie now and forever.......Ratman